Beautiful Curse
by obliquedge
Summary: Narcissa is hiding something from Lucius, but he's bound to find out. So why is he so angry when she tells him the truth? Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. D'oh.

Summary: Narcissa is keeping something from Lucius, but he's bound to find out. So she's going to tell him before he can get a chance to find out himself.

A/N: I love Lucius/Narcissa so much. I spent quite a while on this (editing and re-editing over the space of two months!) so please read and review!**  
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**Beautiful Curse**

Narcissa nodded absent-mindedly at the mediwitch's words, her ice blue eyes staring fixedly at a point on the opposite wall. She debated using wandless magic to clean that spot off the otherwise pristine white wall – anything to keep her mind off what she'd face when she returned home. The words spilling from the lips of the mediwitch like a blessing struck inexplicable fear in Narcissa's heart. Even though the news presented no surprise to her, that didn't stop Narcissa from feeling a little apprehensive. Even though she knew that Lucius had grown to care for her, she couldn't be sure how he'd handle this news for she had no idea if he truly did love her.

She highly suspected that he did not.

The mediwitch smiled at Narcissa with twinkling eyes, and offered her congratulations. Narcissa accepted this with a smile, the polite thing to do. But as she got to her feet to leave the hospital, Narcissa wondered if every woman went through this period of apprehension. Probably not, she decided. Most women would be elated. Most women would dash home immediately to share the great news with their husbands. Most women would be smothered in hugs and kisses from their loving husbands.

Narcissa Malfoy was not most women, and her husband was not most men. They were an odd couple, thrown together by the only force in the world more cruel than the master that Narcissa's husband served – fate. And fate had dashed Narcissa's hopes and dreams so brutally that Narcissa felt duty-bound to stand up to it. She had never asked for much in her life; she had wanted nothing except for true love and what did she get? Lucius Malfoy.

In a trance, Narcissa entered the Malfoy Manor, her long blonde hair trailing behind her like the white flag of surrender. She would do anything – anything at all – if only Lucius would allow her this single request. Narcissa had long given up trying to extricicate a single ounce of love from Lucius, and hence this was what it had come to – she would find herself someone else to love.

Since her marriage into the Malfoy family, Narcissa had become extremely passive. She spent her days cooped up in the house, acting as if she had not a single care in the world and speaking barely a sentence a day to her husband. Her life had lost all meaning, because it seemed as if she was doomed to spend her days with a person she was never to love. But the morning's revelation had brought new meaning into Narcissa's life. It was a single shard of extraordinary hope that kept Narcissa standing tall despite the fear than overtook her heart whenever she thought of confronting Lucius.

Lucius was seated in his study, poring over something or other that Narcissa was sure had to do with Voldemort. Not once did he show any concern for anything aside from his servitude to his master, and this was certainly one of the reasons why the couple hardly ever spoke to each other. Narcissa knew better than to speak before her presence had been acknowledged, so she stood in silence at the doorway of the study, waiting for a sign.

"What are you doing here?" asked Lucius without even looking up. His voice carried tinges of anoyance, and Narcissa exhaled deeply.

"I just came back from the hospital," she said, ignoring Lucius' question, something she would never have done before. Similarly, he ignored her as well, and Narcissa closed her eyes, wishing for strength. When no courage fell from heaven, Narcissa placed one hand over her lower abdomen and opened her eyes, determination flashing in the deep blue orbs. "I met with the mediwitch. She says that … that I'm pregnant."

---

He had made her promise right after their marriage. It was the only thing Lucius had ever asked of her, and Narcissa had stuck to her promise faithfully. She had used contraceptive spells regularly to prevent herself from ever becoming pregnant, despite the fact that an overuse might make her infertile. She had been willing to give up her desire for children to fufill Lucius' wish to never have children. She had sacrificed so much for him, for so many years, but now it was time for it to all end.

Narcissa was a woman, and she wanted to be a mother. She had sacrificed her dream and supressed her instinct all due to her foolish hope that one day she could change Lucius' mind. In her heart, she still held a tiny sliver of that optimism, that one day she would be able to turn Lucius back to her, and he would love her like she wished she could love him. But when it seemed her wish would never come true, she had stopped using the spells and waited dutifully until one day she conceived. It was perfectly clear to her how Lucius would react if he found out that she had done so on purpose, but she could no longer care. She had nothing left to lose.

Besides, she had no idea why Lucius was so against having a child. Narcissa figured that if she promised to ensure that the child never got in the way of Lucius, there'd be no problem whatsoever. After all, if Lucius didn't care about her, he wouldn't care about her child. They'd have to live as strangers in the same house, but that was something Narcissa had grown to be able to accept.

But whatever she had steeled herself up to expect was nothing compared to what Lucius lashed out at her with – the truth.

"Do you have any idea what this means?" he hissed, getting to his feet and staring into Narcissa's eyes. Never before had she seen his cold grey eyes so alive with emotion as they were now, flashing with unbridled rage. "Do you know the kind of danger this will put you in?" Lucius stepped away from her, his slate grey eyes now flashing with rage and desperation. "The Dark Lord believes us to be husband and wife in name only, and that has protected you for years, Narcissa! If we have a child, he's going to realise that you and our child are the perfect hostages he could use to threaten me to do so many things. And if he kills you … if he kills you …" Lucius let out a scream and grabbed onto the side of his mahogany desk for support, unable to complete his sentence.

Narcissa backed away from Lucius, the tears glistening in her eyes getting mixed up with the inappropriate burst of happiness she felt. Lucius really did love her. As this realisation hit her, so did another – that Narcissa had, in her stubborness, gotten Lucius into an infinite amount of trouble. Why had she been stupid enough to try and make her own foolish decisions? Why hadn't she loved Lucius like she now knew he loved her?

She touched Lucius on the arm, for her heart went out to this broken Malfoy depite her own wariness. "Lucius," she whispered gently, and to her surprise, he grabbed out at her and engulfed her in a hug, collapsing against her feeble form. "I'm sorry," she pleaded, her hands making fists in the back of Lucius' robes. "I'll go get rid of it, I won't let this happen, I won't let you take the risk …"

Lucius broke away abruptly and Narcissa could feel herself missing the feeling of his body against hers. She slid her hands forward and held on tightly to the front of his robes, as if afraid he might flee from her.

"No," he replied in a flat voice, even though his eyes shone with tears that betrayed the true extent of emotion that he was capable of feeling. "Have our child, Narcissa. Have our child."

---

Narcissa, now six months into her preganancy, leant against Lucius as they lay in bed, watching the stars outside. Lucius had given up the act, and he had given up pretending that he didn't love his wife. He truly did, and Lucius felt a little safer when he was cuddled up against her. For once in his life, there was a sanctuary he could turn to, where he could be himself, where he no longer needed to hide himself.

A few more visits to the mediwitch had revealed that Narcissa was having a boy, and Lucius was in the midst of trying to come up with a name. So far, nothing had seemed suitable. He stared out the window, combing his fingers through Narcissa's blonde locks. A bright star caught his eye, sparkling as the eye of a constellation in the night sky.

"Draco," said Lucius suddenly. "The dragon, born of brilliance but cursed with the burden of his own identity." He stared into the night sky, seeing the face of his son stare down at him sadly. A warped and twisted dragon cried out to him from the darkness, as beautiful as it was frightening. "He was a curse, but also a gift," he murmured, laying his head against Narcissa's. "A beautiful curse," he concluded.

Narcissa closed her eyes and snuggled up against Lucius. "Draco," she repeated.

---

"Draco!" Narcissa called as she and Lucius stood on platform nine-and-three-quarters, watching the Hogwarts Express pull away. It was Draco's first year and Narcissa was not unduly worried. "Bye, Draco!" she shouted and waved to her son, who had stuck his head out of the compartment window and was waving back. His blond hair flapped against his forehead, almost but not quite covering his eyes – eyes as grey as his father's, as emotive as his mother's, and as bright as the constellation he had been named for.

As the train rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight, Narcissa turned to her husband with a smile. "Still think he's a curse?" she asked quietly. Lucius had loved his son in ways that Narcissa did not think he was capable of, even if he sometimes did seem like the overly strict and uncaring father. It was clear enough in the way Lucius sometimes looked at Draco when the young boy was fast asleep and unaware of the dangers the world posed.

"Yes," Lucius replied, and Narcissa pulled away from him, hardly believing her ears. But Lucius merely pulled her closer and presented her one of his rare smiles. "But I love him," he continued, his eyes staring deep into Narcissa's. "And I love what he brought to this world, and to us."

Narcissa ran a finger along her husband's chiselled jawline with a wistful smile and whispered the only suitable reply: "I love you too."


End file.
